a) you directed the best movie of the year,
b) in the same year your EX HUSBAND directs the most successful film of all time,
c) everyone expects your best husband to win the Oscar, and
d) he doesn't, and YOU DO.
Isn't revenge sweeeeeeeeet?
I don't direct films in Syria, and thus can't win Oscars for my effort, but ohhhh how I wish I had a Bigelow moment as I was extricating myself from a long and messy relationship about 4 years ago. Of course it ended badly. And of course I had revenge fantasies left right and center of how I was going to show HIM how much better my life became without him.
Of course, anyone who's ever tried using someone else to fuel a desire for happiness will understand when I say it completely backfired. The more I tried to show HIM how frikkin' fantastic I was, the more miserable and hung up on him I remained. And the more I lit up the word "REVENGE" with my neon anger, the more bitter, bitchy and boring I was to boot. Nobody wanted to hang out with me lest I share my latest mental scenario ("I'd like to spray the word "LIAR" on his car with butane and light it on fire!" "I want to sneak into his house and put rat poison on his pizza!" - charming things like that). You can only imagine how that must have translated to my face: dark circles, flat eyes, bad skin - I was a Revenge Zombie in a B-rated horror movie.
Slowly but surely - and with a great big boost from my then good friend and now fiance - I learned to let go of my anger and focus on the brighter side of my life. After a job change, a few shopping trips and a re-entry into yoga, I started finding my balance again and - dare I say - learned to be happy through focusing on me.
That's kind of the main thing we try to foster at Footsie. Learning to look at yourself and like what you see; learning to focus on YOU as opposed to HIM or THEM or "WHAT THEY THINK" - that really is the best revenge. When you're trying to get over a man, get over him by getting into yourself!
Katheryn Bigelow's real revenge wasn't the fact she won an Oscar (though admittedly that is some very major icing on the cake). It was the fact that after her heartbreak, she picked up the pieces, threw herself into work that she loved, made a life and a name for herself and (seemingly) is now pretty dang happy.
I can only hope that when we host more divorce parties we can impart that "happy to be me" vibe to our ladies - because nothing helps a boudoir shoot like a confident, self-loving vibe. And nothing says "Hey boys - I'm BAAAAAAACK!" like a picture of you looking happy, and ready to rock and roll.
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